What Supervision Has Given Me

I have recently left Spill, an online therapy company where I worked as a supervisor for nearly five years.Leaving has been one of the most difficult and humbling professional experiences of my career.

Not because the work ended badly – quite the opposite – but because I suddenly realised I was stepping away from almost thirty ongoing supervisory relationships. Relationships that had not only supported the practitioners I worked with, but had also quietly nurtured me.

Supervision is often described in functional terms: risk management, accountability, ethical oversight. And it is all of those things. But when supervision is done well, it becomes something more relational, more human, and more sustaining than a professional requirement alone.

What I have been left holding, as this chapter closes, is a deep sense of gratitude for what supervision can be – and for what those relationships gave back to me.

The Relational Loss of Leaving Supervision

Supervision is not therapy, but it is still a relationship.

When supervision is ongoing, thoughtful, and rooted in trust, it holds practitioners’ thinking, uncertainty, ethical questioning, confidence, mistakes, and growth over time. You come to know how someone shows up when they are stretched, how they reflect when something feels uncomfortable, and how their professional identity slowly strengthens.

Leaving meant letting go of all of that at once.

It was only in the absence that I fully recognised the emotional depth of those connections. Supervision had become a place where I, too, was sustained.

What Supervisees Reflected Back

In the feedback I received as I was leaving, certain words appeared again and again:

Safety

A sense of Humour

Education

Steady

Principled

Ethical

Supportive

Grounding

Warm

Approachable

Wise

Deeply professional

I didn’t ask for this feedback, and I didn’t try to shape it. Which is precisely why it mattered.

What it reflected was not a particular method or model, but a way of being in supervision. And that feels important.

Safety as the Foundation

Without safety, supervision becomes something people perform in rather than learn within.

When supervisees feel they need to impress, justify, or conceal parts of their work, reflection narrows and risk increases. Ethical practice relies on openness, and openness only develops where people feel genuinely safe enough to be honest.

Safety in supervision often shows up as:

• being able to say “I’m not sure”

• bringing uncertainty without fear of judgement

• naming ethical unease early

• trusting that mistakes will be explored thoughtfully, not punitively

Safety is not about being permissive. It is about being containing.

Steadiness, Ethics, and Principle

Supervision benefits from steadiness.

Not certainty or fixed answers, but a consistent ethical presence. A place where complexity can be slowed down and thought about carefully.

Being described as steady, principled, and ethical matters to me, because supervision is often where practitioners bring their most difficult dilemmas. The work here is not about telling people what to do, but about supporting clear thinking, ethical reasoning, and defensible decision-making.

Ethics live in reflection, not in rules alone.

Education Without Superiority

Supervision is also a learning space – but not a classroom in disguise.

Learning in supervision works best when it is collaborative and grounded in the supervisee’s actual work. When theory is used to support thinking rather than override it.

Being approachable and educational at the same time matters. Knowledge should expand confidence, not silence it.

Good supervision strengthens the supervisee’s own internal supervisor rather than replacing it.

Warmth, Humour, and Humanity

One of the words that stayed with me most was humour.

Therapeutic work is serious, but it is also deeply human. Appropriate humour can ease tension, regulate nervous systems, and restore perspective when work feels heavy.

Warmth and professionalism are not in opposition. They belong together.

What Supervision Has Reinforced for Me

This period has reinforced my respect for humility in professional work.

Supervision continually reminds me that we demonstrate our professionalism not through certainty, but through openness to reflection, curiosity, and ethical care. It has strengthened my appreciation for how much courage it takes to think honestly about one’s work, especially when things feel unclear or uncomfortable.

It has also reminded me that supervision, when done well, is not a one-way process. Ethical, boundaried supervisory relationships can be nourishing on both sides.

A Closing Reflection

If you are in supervision, or offering it, I hope it feels like a place where thinking is supported, humanity is welcomed, and ethics are lived rather than performed.

Because when supervision works well, it does more than protect clients.

It shapes practitioners.

And sometimes, quietly, it shapes supervisors too.

Supervision

If this way of thinking about supervision resonates, I continue to offer clinical supervision for counsellors and supervisors who are looking for a space that is reflective, ethical, and human.

Supervision, for me, is about steadiness, curiosity, and shared responsibility — a place to think carefully about practice rather than perform it. If you are exploring supervision, you are very welcome to get in touch to see whether working together might feel like a good fit.

Click Me

Becoming a Supervisor

For some, supervision also becomes a next step rather than just a support.

Alongside my clinical work, I offer supervision training and development for practitioners who are beginning to consider the role of supervisor, or who want to deepen their supervisory practice with greater confidence and ethical clarity.

This work is grounded in the same values described here: humility, relational safety, thoughtful use of theory, and a strong ethical spine. If you are curious about moving into supervision, or refining how you already practise, I would be glad to explore that with you.

Click Me